Daydreams and futures

I've gotten a lot more thoughtful about my future lately, probably because I'm no longer in a long term relationship. This means so much--I can do whatever I want. The only thing holding me back is, well, me, and while that's something I'm trying to overcome, essentially I am free.

I'm making all of these plans in my head--plans to start a bakery with my best friend or become a translator and travel all over the world or move to a big city or out of the country.

There are also smaller plans, smaller changes. I want to take my health back into my control. Not some eating disorders and certainly not where I stuff my face and end up gaining all that weight I gave up so much for. I want to work out again. I want to eat healthy again. I want to wake up and go to bed feeling my best.

It's certainly not the most practical option, but I want to do it. I want to obtain these goals I've had for so long.

I'm not promising anything, because I've promised myself things before and those hardly ever tend to come true. So I'm hoping. And dreaming. And experiencing.

If I'm going to be lonely, I might as well do what I want.

Corey.

Well

Starting a new blog. I've changed so, so much since I started the last one. I put myself through recovery. I obtained a therapist. I broke up with my girlfriend. Sometimes I feel like I left so much of myself behind but...

I like who I am now. Sure, there are days when I have to force myself to keep eating, or days when I want to cling to my bed and never leave, but I'm different. Maybe better, maybe not. I'm not really sure.

All I know is that I've changed, and to me it seems to be for the better. I'm happier. I'm just... Different. So we'll see how this goes. If I actually remember that I have a blog and if I think I'm interesting enough to post things. If I'm not posting here, I'm almost always posting on my tumblr. (paperthingirl is my more personal one)

So here's to beginnings and pink hair and courage. <3

Corey